Fattening Up

This little girlie is fattening up quite nicely.  We didn't weigh her today, but are thinking that she'll be back up to her 17ish pound self before very long indeed. 

Mum mums aren't very fattening, but they sure are fun to eat!

I think I may need to re-think how I am trying to motivate this girl to move.  Never what you'd call motor driven, since she's been sick and recovering she does NOT want to move.  Cue the little pouty lip, face planted on the hardwood floor, refusing to budge every time I put her down.  But let Daddy take out his favorite ice cream the other night and she suddenly threw herself toward him.  Since Coffee Heath Bar Crunch is not the best baby food, Cora got her own Coconut ice cream to enjoy with her Signing Time video.  Mmmm. 

Mmmm... ice cream and Hopkins!

So Much Better

I am over the moon to say that Cora is finally on the mend. 

She's gotten her spunk back, if not all of her energy.  She's definitely lost a bit of ground, which we are slowly working to get back.  She's pretty slouchy when sitting up and really does not want to crawl or be on her tummy at all.  She's gotten pretty used to sitting in my lap watching her favorite shows and now is not too thrilled that I'm putting her on the hard floor and getting her to work.  But that means she's doing better, doesn't it?

The break in our regularly scheduled lives hasn't been a total loss though.  This morning Cora surprised me by demonstrating her now perfect pincer grasp, as she gingerly grasped Cheerio after Cheerio, depositing them in her mouth until it was full.

She has become a pickier eater, although I did break down and introduce her to dairy in the form of honey flavored greek yogurt, which is probably the main reason she is back up another 3 ounces today. Yes, she's up to 16 pounds again! 

And I don't want to get too ahead of myself over here, but I can't really help but announce that I think that Cora signed "milk" for the first time today.  Not 100% sure, and given the fact that O-Beanie-One often chooses not to demonstrate all that she is able to do, we'll have to wait and see.  But I have a feeling that she was signing today!

We're going to continue to try to regain a normal flow over here, maybe even doing some outings later in the week, if all goes well. 

Thank you all for hanging in there with me through my worrying and complaining.  My lovely girlie and I thank you from the bottom of our very relieved little hearts.

A little thinner, but still oh so cute.  Or maybe even cuter...

So happy to be outside again, even if it's freezing in Portland.

"What?  Is there something on my face?"

Up 3 Ounces!

And proud of it!

Yes, Little Beanie Boo weighed in at 15 pounds, 13 ounces, up 3 from yesterday.  And narrowly avoided the NG tube. She's one smart cookie!

My Incredible Shrinking Girl

So I'm getting kind of worried.  Cora has lost an additional 1/2 pound in the last 4 days.  And she is nursing at about once an hour during the day.  She refuses food after the first few bites.  I'm not sure what else to do.  She doesn't really seem to be in much pain at this point and her mood is looking up.  So we're not sure why she's not taking in enough to maintain her weight, let alone gain.  She could still have some throat soreness, but she's almost at 2 weeks post-op now.  She could be having a hard time coping with the extra secretions in her airway from the pneumonia, or her little tummy could just be shrunken.  We don't know, but one thing is certain:  she is shrinking.  She's losing 2 ounces a day.  

She is absolutely swimming in her 9 month clothes and the size 3 diapers barely fit anymore.  Even her bibs are too big now.

If she's down again tomorrow we are seriously considering putting her NG tube back in. Then we can pump in a couple extra ounces a few times a day and work on boosting her calories back up.  Of course, we won't be very popular if this happens, but it will help give us a little more control.

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.  If we'd have known what was in store, I don't think we'd have ever chosen to do this surgery.  We won't know whether it was successful until we know the swelling is gone and her airway is clear.  She's still snoring very loudly, having some apnea it seems, and waking herself up all night long. 

I am just so, so stressed about it all.  Stressed and concerned and so sick and tired of being cooped up 24 hours a day.  My darling husband is dealing with a very busy time at work AND a very busy quarter as a part-time student (including Saturday class!!!!).  Therefore mommy duty is even more intensive than usual.

Anyway... this is my request for good thoughts for her appetite to improve.  I really want her to get back to her pudgy little self, rather than shrinking before my eyes.

Friends

Tuckered Out

Little girlie is taking an early nap, already tuckered out from the brief and mostly sedentary activities of the morning.

I should be logging into work for the first time in about two weeks, but instead I find myself wandering through the house feeling displaced.  Browsing online, I realize I'm just killing time, even though there is much to do.

I am more or less caught up on sleep, but I still have yet to get out of my pajamas today. I feel a bit empty and a bit sad.

Getting home from the hospital I thought we'd be on a steady climb back to normalcy, but it doesn't quite feel that way yet.  Cora is still grumpy and tired and weak.  She's refusing all but a couple of bites of solid food at a time, swallowing the first one or two and then whining and refusing to swallow.  I can't tell if her throat still hurts or if she's just not feeling that well.  She is nursing frequently, thank God.  I am so grateful that she is still nursing, or who knows how she'd be getting any food. 

But she is still very pale, with dark circles under her eyes.  Looking at her skinny little body, with her whittled down head and face upsets my stomach.  I guess I thought she'd be getting back to herself a little sooner. 

She'll still smile when something tickles her funny bone, but it's not her usual smile.  She whines and fusses after a minute or so if I'm not actively holding her.  And she's very attached to me right now.  Last night as Nick tried to snuggle her on his lap, she kept whining and reaching for me.  Not so good for Daddy's self-esteem, but I understand.  She's been hunkered down in my lap for going on three weeks now (other than when she was sedated in her hospital bed).  A week of a cold, and then going on two weeks since this whole surgery went amok, it feels like things will never get back to normal.

And I miss my happy, pink little girl with her infectious smiles and giggles.  I worry about all the time we're losing developing her motor skills, but I can't bring myself to force her to hang out on her tummy when she gets so tired and upset.  I just want to snuggle her and calm her and make her feel safe and secure.  I know that is what she needs right now, but I still worry, hoping that this period won't last much longer.

She's not on antibiotics now.  She was, but only prophylactically, since other than a day or so of fever, she hasn't shown sign of actual infection.  Obviously, chemical pneumonia caused by aspirating took a huge toll on her little body, and I imagine she is still recovering from the tonsillecty and adenoidectomy too.  But I'm ready for her to be healthy again.  Ready for our lives to contain more than mellow interactive activities interspersed between naps, much longer periods of television watching than usual, and attempts to get her to eat.

Sigh.  This whole ordeal just has me tired.  Hoping my baby girl is feeling better soon.

Since I'd rather not post pictures of my girl feeling the way she is at the moment, how about a photo flashback from a few months ago?  Here's happy little 9 month old Cora, having a blast with her Grandpa.  Love!

Not Quite Camera Ready

I've had some requests for pictures of Miss Cora.

I didn't take many of her in the last few days in the hospital, partly because I was too busy taking care of her to worry about pictures, and also because they just turned out horribly.

I hate to put up pictures of her looking so sad and so ill, but by request, here are a couple.

A couple days ago still in the hospital.  Sitting in the big-girl bed without her mama for a minute.  Legwarmers on arms and legs, IV in her forehead (before it infiltrated and caused her some major distress), and the hated nasal cannula still pumping in the oxygen.  Exhausted all around.

At home today, lying on the hardwood floor after her first real attempt at tummy time.  She did manage to army-crawl a few inches, then tired out and rolled over, looking up at me with this sad, tired, little Skinny Bean face.  At just about 16 pounds now, she's looking awfully thin and worn out.  I can't wait to put some meat back on these little bones.

 

The only half-smile I've caught on camera.  She will smile occasionally, but has not nearly regained her sassy little personality back.  We're still doing a lot of sitting and resting and watching her favorite show (Baby Signing Time is my hero, of course, and a bit of Elmo for variety).  I imagine I'll be having to work hard to un-spoil her once she's feeling better.

Can't wait to get her back to this...