And just for a second I felt that old twinge again... the one that almost feels like pain in my heart, as I thought to myself, "Oh how I would love to hear Cora speak to me like that one day..."
I don't know why it has to be painful, even if it's only for a second or two. Because even though there are no guarantees, I do believe that she'll be talking one day.
It's just one of those things. Waiting, hoping, having faith. And realizing that all the other seconds, minutes, hours of the days I am truly happy with where she is.
The elation I feel when she speaks her one-word approximations is hard to beat. The joy I get daily in really just taking in the funniness, the silliness, the absolute loveliness that she is. Hearing her giggle, or watching her come up so close that our noses are touching, as she cups my face and whispers to me her language of jabbers and gestures... Seeing her ham it up as she dances around the room, arms and face raised to the ceiling belting out some words I can only guess at...
No, I don't feel sorry for me. And I don't feel sorry for her. Sure, one day I would love to hear her whisper a complete and coherent sentence in my ear. But even if I don't, it will be enough.
I feel no pity or sadness either. I don't think anyone can understand but us. But I think Ben and Cora are absolutely perfect just the way they are!
ReplyDeleteWhat beautiful pictures of Cora! I think we all have moments of wishing for something our child could do at that moment. It's ok to have that moment! And then you stop and soak in all that your child is right now.
ReplyDeleteI know that second. I had it today in Hailey's preschool class.
ReplyDeleteStupid iPad...I wasn't finished :-) Beautiful pics of Cora!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Leah! Abigail is 10 and I still get thrills at every development in her speech because it brings us that much closer into her mind. But her touch and her spirit and her expressive communication are there no matter if she uses language or not. Our kids light up a room simply by being there. You will hear Cora talk, almost certainly, and it will make your heart sing. But it clearly sings already.
ReplyDeleteI still cannot fathom a complete sentence. . . yet, my Bear can say the most beautiful word ever "Mama". Is it also bad that I read your second sentence and thought (thank goodness she cannot open the door yet!"? Still, I do get those fleeting seconds like you. Cora is a beautiful little girl. One day, I am going to meet you all!
ReplyDeleteCutest pictures ever. I still have those little moments now and then too. Where I feel a sting for a brief moment. And I will admit in those moments I do feel sorry for my son. I do feel sorry that he can't talk or express himself easily. But...In the end if this is all we get, I agree with your last words...It will be enough.
ReplyDeleteYep...know it well and it takes me by surprise when that second rears its head...10 years on and it still happens.
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