Yesterday I posted about my sad moments with Cora. Right now I’m in a sad place for non-Cora-related reasons and that mindset seems to be spreading the melancholy around, tingeing everything a little bit blue.
I guess the reason I’m writing
this is to acknowledge that I’m finding myself hovering somewhere between joy
and sadness more often than not.
In all honesty, most of the time I
tend to be on the sunny side. I feel
that overall I adjusted pretty well to the turns my life took when Cora was
born, and I know that she has made me happy beyond belief.
But there are still moments when it’s
harder to feel that way. Moments when my
worries, my concerns, and my own insecurities take over briefly.
And I think it’s important to
express that. There are people who feel
that blogs about Down syndrome often focus on the good too much and fail to
express the bad that simply must exist too.
There are probably a few reasons for that. I think that it’s truly because most of the
people that have been blessed with a person with Ds in their lives do find
their lives enriched and improved by it.
And since a portion of our society
seems to think that there is no way that could be true, we want to express it
to the world. We want the world to see
what we see. We want to be able to
change a few minds and let them in on our little secrets. I think that for many of us, the good so
outweighs the bad that the goodness is what you see in our words and our
But there is fear and sadness
sometimes too, of course. Some people
are concerned about posting that side of things, for fear that an expectant
parent looking to make a life or death decision could be swayed by our
I think it’s important that we
express both sides. I think it’s
important so that the world sees our own humanity, and that of our children. If we can express the sadness, then our joy
seems more believable.
The concern for me is that I don’t
want to be purely seen as black or white.
I know that our society tends to pit absolutes against one another to
define our world, to describe it and label it and put it in a tidy little box. Happy or sad.
It’s so much harder to define that space in between, where most of us
And that’s where the beauty really
lies for me. In that space in
between. Hovering between joy and
between sadness, in that space in between, where we live and breathe, play and
learn, stress and worry, love and adore, and hopefully keep learning.