Thursday, March 14, 2013
Cora is often a study in contrasts.
Although we learn to compare and contrast in school, pitting one thing against another in order to define it, most of life and most people aren't this black and white.
Cora is sometimes a social butterfly, especially from a distance. She may peek out bashfully from lowered lids, waiting to make sure you aren't going to get too close, but once she decides you're okay, she downright glows. She sends out smiles that can make awkward 14 year-old boys and crotchety old men grin in spite of themselves. She can flirt with the best of them: blowing kisses, waving, and initiating long games of peekaboo.
But that's all with grownups.
With children it's another story. She is scared of them. If there are kids around, she is most certainly in my lap, arms around my neck, watching to make sure the little rascals don't get too close. Occasionally she'll warm up enough to scoot around a little after a toy, or hold my hands and walk around the room, always making sure I'm still within touching distance. After being put in the child care room during a seminar this past weekend (even though she was with adults that she knows and likes), she is much more nervous now.
It seems that all the other kids her age are less nervous in one another's presence. They seem more willing to play, alone or with others. Even if they're just a foot or two away from mom or dad.
And I'm starting to wonder if this is just a phase. Stranger danger began for her at 6 months old, and is obviously still there. But is this something more? Should I be concerned about her coping skills? Is it a sensory issue? Is it because kids are fast and loud and she is still fairly slow and less loud? I can understand that. But she is most certainly going to be around other children in life. And heck, preschool is less than a year away. Is this a real problem?
Or is this shyness just her personality?
I don't want to automatically try and fix her. Yet at the same time, I want to encourage her to explore her world, to make friends, to develop attachments with people other than close family. I know that she is still quite young, but I definitely see that her interactions are different than most other kids (typically-developing and not).
Other moms out there: have you experienced this with your kids? Any suggestions? When did you decide it was a problem or why did you decide that it wasn't?