Thursday, October 4, 2012

Keeping Mama in the Pictures- 31 for 21

Today I read a beautiful post by a mother reflecting on wanting the imperfect photos of herself included in her family history.  She realized that in spite of her own self-conscious ideas of her less-than-perfect physical self, having her own image as a young mother with her children is something that needs to be captured for herself and for her children.
 
This post came just a couple of days after I heard a very similar sentiment from my wise beyond her years baby sister, who kept snapping pictures of me with Cora while we walked to the park and as I pushed her on the swing.  When I expressed discomfort at the idea of having to look at myself in my ripped pink tank top and old faded yoga pants, messy hair and glasses, carrying a few extra pounds that have stayed around since I’ve become a mother and that always seem to look so obvious in photos, she snapped those pictures anyway.  She told me that one day I will want to look back and see myself included.   

I have thousands of pictures of Cora, but few of them actually contain me.  If Cora could someday remember this time in her life, I know I would feature front and center in her memories, since I am central to her world.  It seems vain and unnecessary to purposefully omit me just because I am self-conscious.

Today while scrolling through my computer, I found a picture a friend took over a year ago.  I never shared the photo, but looking at it now, I see how much I love it.  


The look on my face shows how happy I am.  I was in my overly happy post-heart-surgery phase.  And Cora is so beautiful with her round little joyful baby face.  But it’s us together that I love.  Not a perfect photo, and certainly not a perfect backdrop, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.

I don’t think I’m quite ready to share the pink tank top pictures.  Maybe that’s something I’ll work on.  But in the meantime I will keep them in my folder and will resist my impulse to hit delete.

4 comments:

  1. That is an absolutely GORGEOUS photo - you can see the love on your face so clearly. I'm kind of the same way, but have relented and allowed myself to be photographed so much more often lately, realizing that these are important pictures to capture with my girl.

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  2. aw, love it! You are so wise too, must run in the family :)

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  3. I love this photo! It just radiates joy :)

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