A Case of the Sillies

Is there anything better than the sound of a toddler laughing?  Perhaps said toddler laughing at her Daddy...

Cora enjoyed Saturday morning playing with Nick while I slept in after a much needed night out with some girlfriends. 

I awoke to some serious belly laughing, and then got up to find that two of my favorites little silly-folk had captured their morning with the camera.

So on this Monday morning, in lieu of my own over-thinking, anxious and cyclical thoughts, I offer you my favorite little Bean and her Daddy Bean.  A case of the sillies, indeed.

Daddy Love - 31 for 21

Have I mentioned how amazing Cora's daddy is?

Or how very much he loves his girl?

Luckily, the feeling is mutual.  

They are silly and sweet.  In fact, as I write this they are snuggled up together sleeping, away from the camera's view.

It's safe to say that Cora loves her daddy's silly sense of humor.

She loves his tickles and the way he reads her favorite books in funny voices complete with bad accents and the way he can't seem to put on her pajamas without starting a giggly wrestling match.

When Cora was born he never wavered.  While I cried and worried aloud, talking through my tumultuous feelings, he listened and supported me and he was rock solid for Cora.

He always seemed so much stronger than I was, so calm in stressful situations, so much better equipped to deal with everything.  Whether or not that was actually the case, his strength helped me be strong.  And his strength allowed me to be vulnerable when I felt like I was falling apart.

His love for his daughter has captured my heart again.

So thank you to my wonderful husband.  Cora and I love you very much.

"The Country of Normal"- A Guest Post - 31 for 21

I have had the absolute pleasure of meeting some incredible people since Cora arrived in our lives.  I've forged relationships with families on my online Babycenter forum, in the blogs that I follow, and even in person here in our local Down syndrome community.

One of my very favorite families is the Carsons.  We met Susan, Paul and Anthony when Cora was about 10 weeks old, after meeting Susan on an online message board.  We have had the chance to spend time on several occasions with their beautiful family, although not nearly as often as we'd like.

Susan and Paul are a blast.  Fun, energetic and positive and they have such great perspective on their lives with their gorgeous boy, Anthony, who is almost 2 years older than Cora.

Anthony's dad Paul is pretty inspirational to me.  For the most part it's the mothers who are the visible outspoken participants in our Down syndrome community, while so many fathers quietly offer support from the sidelines.  But not so with Paul.  I learned that he is a wonderful speaker when I had the opportunity to hear him tell Anthony's story at one of the NWDSA presentations last spring.  He is hilarious and warm and loves his boy so, so well.  Just one look at the two of them together and you know that their bond is special, indeed.

I love hearing about the adventures of their family, reading Susan's perspective on their life, and seeing the ridiculously adorable pictures of Anthony at Susan's blog, Keeping Up With The Carsons.

Yesterday's post (a story written by Paul) was remarkable, so I asked them if I could share it here.  Susan and Paul have graciously allowed me to share it with you.

 “The Country of Normal”
 (a fable by Anthony's Dad)

If you travel, there’s a country you may have visited called Normal. You may even live there. Normal has a bit of an overpopulation problem – it seems that everybody wants to live there. The folks who live in Normal tend to talk the same way, dress the same way and its citizens are encouraged to paint between the lines and do their best to fit in.

Every now and then, someone will be born in Normal who’s a little different.

For some reason, these different folks seemed to scare the inhabitants of Normal. If you were different, you would find that you’d been asked to leave the country and that your citizenship in Normal had been revoked.

The Governor of Normal wanted everyone to feel safe. “When things are different, folks aren’t sure what to expect and that scares ‘em!” he explained, “Birds of a feather!”

First, the Governor began to worry about people who’d been born someplace else: “They’re originally from a different country – they talk funny and believe in a different book about a different God! That scares folks and makes ‘em doubt things! If other folks believe something different, that could mean that there’s a chance that what I believe could be wrong.”

Then, the Governor decided everyone whose skin happened to be a different color should be asked to leave – because that probably was a good sign they were originally from someplace else anyway.

The Governor felt that things still weren’t Normal enough. So everyone who happened to have been born with an extra chromosome was told they had to go someplace else. “We all like to do things at the same fast speed here in Normal, and, well, you just aren’t fast enough…”

 Then it was time to deal with people whose intimate relationships were different – “Having two mommies or two daddies isn’t the Normal way,” said the Governor. “Those kinds of relationships threaten our Normal relationships.” The Governor couldn’t really explain why that was, but everyone agreed it was probably for the best.

He was making progress, but things still weren’t Normal enough. There were all these Heavy-set people who just didn’t fit in. They would have to go – they were eating all the food. Then there were the really old people – and the young people with the uncertain new ideas. It seemed the more the Governor looked for people who didn’t belong, the more of them he found.

One day the Governor overslept and when he woke up he realized he was out of coffee. So he decided to walk to the store to get some – but the store was closed. He remembered it had been run by someone who had been born someplace else. He continued down the street and realized that all the other stores were closed as well. They’d been owned by fat people or gay people or slower people – they’d all moved away. The Governor had wandered all the way to the farthest fence near the border, and he realized he was all alone – he was the last one left. He dropped to his knees and without really knowing why, he began to cry. “What have I done? I never thought I’d be all alone – this isn’t what I wanted!” he cried.

Suddenly a voice called out to him from beyond the fence, over on the other side. It was a little girl. Her skin was darker than his and he could tell by looking at her that she’d been born with an extra chromosome – that she was different. “Don’t cry, mister. You don’t have to be alone – we have room for you over here."

She opened up the gate and she took his hand. Here were all the people who’d left – all of them – and they were living together. Everyone seemed happy – and there were so many differences, all mixed together, it was impossible to tell who was who. Funny how it didn’t seem to matter anymore.

“You’re so kind to take me in,” he said. “What is this place?”

“We call it the Country without Fear,” she replied. “That’s the only thing that can’t live here.”

You can read the original post here at  Keeping Up With The Carsons- The Country of Normal and become a follower of Susan's blog.

For more from Paul, check out his contribution to the December 2011 NWDSA newsletter, "You're a hero to somebody- clown shoes optional."  (Page 5)

An Epic Day with Daddy

I've been giggling about Cora's day with her Daddy yesterday.  OK, so really it's a couple of hours with Daddy, but it still counts.  On Tuesdays I go into work for a couple of hours, so Cora keeps her Daddy busy.

Yesterday I came home to hear about their adventures: a trip to Costco and lunch.  I also came home to find a handful of pictures on the camera and Cora dressed completely in PINK.  Turns out Daddy had to find her entirely new clothes after a diaper change of epic proportions.  Proportions so severe that he felt the need to take pictures (most of which I deleted, for propriety's sake and the rest of which I will NOT share here.)  Then I got to hear a play-by-play of the events leading up to said diaper change, and the clean-up process afterward.

Pretty funny.  Good thing Cora's Daddy is such a good daddy indeed, willing to roll with the punches, even when they entail a cloth diaper and a massive load of laundry.

"See, Daddy.  That wasn't so bad, was it?"

 

"We'd better get this mess cleaned up before Mom comes home."

 

"Look, Dad!  Only 1 hand!"

Guess we'll have to see what Cora has in store for Nick next week.

And keep your eyes open for a special post on Friday, as we celebrate an important anniversary.

31 for 21- Day 5: Partners

When I was pregnant I endlessly read about parenting, including advice on the transition into parenthood and how it affects individual identities, relationships and marriages.  I heard about marriages that were strengthened by parenthood and marriages that were shaken and weakened by parenthood.  And I wondered how Nick and I would fare.

Then when we learned that Cora has Down syndrome, I worried again.  Could our relationship hold up to the trials of raising a child with special needs?  In those first few tumultuous days after Cora was born, I knew that we would have to really stand together and support one another as we struggled to understand our new roles as Cora's parents.

And I am happy to say that I think I fell in love with Nick all over again as I watched him become a dad to Cora.  During those first few weeks of long hours at the hospital with our baby, I would often fall apart the second we were alone, and constantly burst into tears while reading about what to expect or while browsing through birth stories on the blogs that are now my regular companions.  Nick was there for me through all of it.  And even more importantly, he was there for Cora too.  That little girl has him wrapped around every single one of her fingers and toes, and he loves her fiercely, protectively and completely.  And I love him more every day just witnessing it.

So if you've asked yourself if you and your partner could handle it:  handle becoming a parent, even, or becoming a parent to a child with special needs, maybe you will be pleasantly surprised, as I continue to be every day.

All Over the Place

I've been feeling the pull to write, to post pictures and to update this little blog over the past several days.  But I've also been feeling pulled every which way by all the happenings in our lives.

We hosted an end of summer potluck and outdoor movie night on Saturday, which was great and so much fun.  Yet in the midst of all the food, the tasty beverages, the popcorn and the people, I pretty much forgot to take any photographs.  Boo!  And all the photo ready moments too!  We had many of Cora's little friends, from 5 week old Gia to 6 year old Haley and lots of babies and kids in between.  Cora's buddy Anthony visited and charmed all the ladies.  And we had a flux of houseguests over the past week, from family members passing through town to some coming for the festivities. It's definitely been a whirlwind of fun.

Cora is currently snoozing away after a very long night, during which the 3 of us were awake more than we were asleep.  And I know I should be napping, or maybe logging in a bit of work from home hours, which can be hard to find when keeping my busy girl entertained.

But no, I am here sorting through pictures and typing out words.  I've had several posts in my mind over the past week, but a lot of topics seem too heavy for my fuzzy heavy-lidded self today.

So instead, perhaps I'll just post a few pictures from the past few days.

Riding on Daddy's shoulders at the park. Woo hoo!

Me trying to actually get pictures of Cora smiling, rather than reaching for the camera with her mouth in an "O".  I had to hold the camera out to the side and then talk to her.  Needless to say, the effort didn't produce the best pictures.  But here they are anyway.  I really melt over her smiles.

Cora has been fun.  She's still wary of strangers and can offer a pretty impressive pouty lip when excited strangers (or people that she hasn't seen in a few days, even) get too close for comfort, but she seems to be coming around a little.  She's been rolling over from back to tummy like crazy, once she finally picked up this skill a couple of weeks ago.  But of course, after months of rolling tummy to back, she seems to have gotten stuck, and must thus shout for help to get out of her inconvenient positions.

Our future computer geek (that is, if she takes after her Dad) playing with Grandpa 

and his new laptop.

Not sure who had more fun reading books.  Cora or her Favorite Auntie Mira.  Either way, both enjoyed the nice snuggle time.

And of course, Silly Daddy once again gets hold of the camera to capture Cora with her delectably delicious little feet.  (She seems to find her right great toe the tastiest of all.) 

We're planning our last camping trip this weekend with some good friends, and in between hope (fingers and eyes crossed) to get some good sleep, to finish my work projects, and to actually get in some quiet moments this week.  Wish us luck!

A Few Words from Dad

Doesn't this just say it all?

Many of you have been reading this wonderful blog for several months now.  Leah writes a lot about Cora, obviously, because this is the Bean's blog, but rarely mentions poor ol' dad ;-(  I think it goes without saying that I'm here, learning, laughing, playing and enjoying the time with my family.  Not to mention I'm in most of the pics ;-)

But what have I got to say?  I am very proud of Leah and Cora.  That’s for sure.  And I am very proud of the three of us for being such a good little family.  You can be sure of that.  And I suppose I have a great deal to say in general about a lot of things (anyone who knows me will agree with that).  But I’m not going to ramble on about nothing.  I think when Leah asked if I would write a little something, I thought this would be a great opportunity to simply say how much I love my girls.

When Cora gets older and can talk, you all can ask her, “was your dad fun?  Was he silly?  Was he a goof-ball?”  I think she will answer yes to all of these questions.  As can be seen by the pictures that I will post today, most of the things Cora and I do together are goofy.  I think that’s something she and I have in common.

I took Cora to my sister Tara's roller derby bout a couple weeks ago (see the pink-eared pick above) and Cora was fine for a bit but she got a bit upset with the loud, booming speakers.  So we bailed.  I knew she was hungry so we went out to the campus of Whatcom Community College (an alum I am, hmm) and I fed the squirt.  We found a nice little rock that would house my butt, and we enjoyed the sunshine while Cora sucked down a few ounces of the goods.  Then we sat around on the nice lawn and played a bit.

That was a great weekend.  Then work, cleaning, hanging out with my girls, working more, cleaning more, sitting at a computer for many hours, hanging out with my girls some more, more work, and on and on...  Now, here we are.  Another great weekend.  And my first Father's Day!  Leah, Cora and I had a good weekend.  Good food, good fun, walks, and Cora got to do some new things.  Yesterday, we went to Mt Scott Community Center and swam.  It was great.  Cora seemed like she'd been there a million times before.  A pure natural in the water.

Today, we went on a nice walk and Cora took her first ride in a big kids swing (see below).  She handled it like I thought she would:  with great ease and little effort.  I am very proud of my girls, that's for sure.

So that's about it for me today.  I think it is really great that Leah can reach out to the world with this great blog.  It is so good for her. And I am so proud of all of you for reading it regularly like you do, laughing, smiling, and enjoying the words of my wonderful wife.  I can only hope that more people get involved with the community and relate more to each other.  It's a good thing, I'm sure of it ;--)

A Silly Night with Daddy

Last night was a first for me. First evening out with the girls without Cora. We spent a lovely happy hour sipping wine, eating food we hadn't made, and talking about our babies. Perhaps having conversations about other things will be the next step.

So Nick and Cora spent their own evening at home, and I returned to find these gems on the camera. Daddy is so silly.

The Unbearable Cuteness of Bean

Cora having a little tummy time on Daddy's chest from his perspective. Too cute!

Happy 8 Year Anniversary to Us!

Today is the 8^th Anniversary since Nick and I met and have been together.  I can’t believe it’s already been so long!  I should have tried to plan a couple of hours together doing something we both love (in our case, usually going out for a good dinner), but with Cora’s recent surgery there hasn’t been much planning going on.  And we’re not supposed to take her out much for 4-6 weeks after surgery, so looks like we’ll probably stay at home.  I certainly haven’t had the time or imagination to put together any gifts.  But I can post some thoughts and say thank you. 

This year, of course, our relationship has been transformed as we’ve become parents.  And my appreciation for him has increased leaps and bounds seeing him become the Dad I always knew he would be. 

So even though there are endless things I’d like to thank him for, I’d like to list a few of the big ones.  For my sweet husband, I am so thankful to you:

.       
 For loving our little girl like you do.  I’ve always thought that there’s nothing sweeter than a father with his baby girl.  And there’s nothing sweeter than you with our baby girl.

For capturing her first real smiles.  There is something so very FUN about Daddy.  If it weren’t so darn sweet I’d be jealous. 

For doing all the yucky (or painful) stuff that I can’t stand to do.  Like putting in NG tubes, clipping Cora’s nails, pulling off her bandages, and holding her while she’s tortured at the doctor’s office and hospital.

 For staying up with her in the evening while I get my first leg of sleep.  And feeding her bottles while I sleep.  And soothing her.  And letting her sleep on your chest.

 
For falling asleep with her in your arms.  There’s nothing sweeter to me.

 For being the most amazing support during childbirth.

 For being so strong and wonderful when Cora was in the hospital.  

For listening to me and trying to make me feel better when I’m sad.  For trying to help me and make me happy, even when I’m not asking you to fix anything.

 For taking Cora to work with you.

 For being so patient with Cora and with me.

 For being my best friend.

 For being the best Daddy.

For being you.

Happy 8 years to us.  May there be many, many more.